maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize