I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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