I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
