Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
