pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
