He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need water and some morals
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
