could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
