Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My legs feel like baby dolphins
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
