Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
