Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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