the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
