you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
