I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
