My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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