The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
