So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize