could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is wine microwaveable?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
