I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
