My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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