I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
