I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
