4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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