Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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