Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
