What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if i can run in heels then i can drive
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
