this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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