Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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