Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
