I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
