would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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