Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
