nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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