I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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