it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
