She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize