i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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