Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
