Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
