We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
