you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
