It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
