jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
