Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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