Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
