Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
