girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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