jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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