I love black thongs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize