just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
