All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize