I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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