You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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