just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
