Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
