living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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