I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
