New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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