the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
