allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
