like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize