i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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