I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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