Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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