I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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