I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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