Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
