I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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