At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
