never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
