We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I will be naked everywhere
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
