Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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