I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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