Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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