if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
